Saturday 27 October 2007

So long, and thanks for all the fish

Fuck was I

Love grows in me like a tumor,
parasites bent on devouring its host.
I'm developing my sense of humor,
till I can laugh at my heart between your teeth,
till I can laugh at my face beneath your feet.

Skillet on the stove is such a temptation,
maybe I'll be the lucky one that doesnt get burned.
What the fuck was I thinking?

Love plows through me like a dozer,
I've got more give than a bale of hay,
and there's always a big mess left over.
What did you do?
What did you say?

Skillet on the stove is such a temptation,
maybe I'll be the special one that doesnt get burned.
What the fuck was I thinking?

Love tears me up like a demon.
Opens the wounds and fills them with lead,
and I'm having some trouble just breathing.

If we werent such good friends I think that I'd hate you.
If we weren't such good friends I'd wish you were dead

Oh it's so embarrasing
I'm this awkward and uncomprable thing,
and I'm running out of places to hide

Wednesday 24 October 2007

Unexpected Obstacles

Who Are You, Defenders Of The Universe?

I don't actually have anything to write about, I just feel like jotting something down. I am having serious problems concentrating, and it's taking a toll on my work. Shape up or ship out, like they say, it's getting to a point where it is now or never.

Ohwell, hopefully I can get better. I have to, right?

Hopefully.

I cannot keep down any food, I feel dizzy and disoriented, and I feel it is all justified because yesterday I made a comment about how I haven't really been sick in like half a year. Which is actually not true, I did have a weekend like this about 2 months ago or so. Hannes was here, he was sweet and helpful.. ugh, just.. don't think about it.

This is where it stops, before I start whining even more.

Saturday 20 October 2007

Crawling towards the sun

One of these things first

I have been ordered to write - I am writing. Hey, what's going on with you people? Personally I feel slightly dizzy and out of it; I've been working hard lately, so I decided that the arrival of a Friday meant that I would play hard too. It was fun, but the fruits I reaped aren't so sweet anymore. In a lot less complicated way of saying it I have a hang over.

Come and get me, boys.

Billy Ray Cyrus explains my feelings quite well in the song "Achy Breaky Heart":

But don't tell my heart, my achy breaky heart
I just don't think it'd understand
And if you tell my heart, my achy breaky heart
He might blow up and kill this man

You know you feel bad, but you do not want to admit it to your self. I guess what I went through this summer has left my emotions worried. They do not want to listen, they do not want to come out of their shell. I spent days in bed, not being able to do anything but cry, and now that things are.. so unbelievably and ridiculously frustrating and depressing and I am going nowhere I rarely ever feel a thing? I will always love you, Hannes, no matter what you do to me, but if you take my feelings I might hate you forever too.

It is just so beyond my grasp and understanding that someone who claims you are the love of their life can actually ignore you for days, weeks, like you are no one to them.

But enough about my stupid boy troubles.

My camera is full of photos I do NOT remember taking! Granted, I remember being there, and doing .. most of the things featured on them, but the fact that there are so many photos I do not even remember taking or that someone took kind of disturbs me. Ohmy. I went out with Susanne, who has yet to turn 20, so it was kind of limited where we could go. We met some funny people though, watched almost an entire movie (The Heartbreak Kid - it was a bad movie even to watch while drunk, which means it's a horrible movie to watch while sober), went bowling, ate at Subways, ran around, sat on the street and talked about how guys are fucking complicated and in the end one of Susanne's countless fans drove us both home. I actually managed to spill water all over my desk and fall asleep with my laptop in bed. In other words; a good night.

Today I am going to slow down considerably and do absolutely nothing. Yay.

I really want one of these:
http://www.wishingfish.com/610574.html
But they don't ship to Norway, so they can go suck it.

Now listen to Nouvelle Vague - I Melt with you. Goddammit.

Wednesday 10 October 2007

Beat up the clowns!

Fluorescent Adolescent

How about.. how about I write an entry ignoring everything that really matters to me and pretend like the world is a happy-go-lucky place, catering to my wants and drugging me silly, happy, docile?

Yes, I do believe I will do just that. Now..

PILOT SEASON IS UPON US!

And my, what a turnout we have this year. I haven't been able to follow it quite as closely before, so this is a new experience for me, but the diversity, the high level of crap and the awesomeness actually surprised me. I'm totally in love with Pushing Daisies, it's rainbow sparkled murder-mystery-heartbreak thrown together to one strange package. The kind that makes you squirm and smile, but at the same time breaks your heart because you feel so alone when you watch it.

..yeah, this isn't gonna work.

I have lost my train of thought. I am incapable of writing anything right now, and it really irks me, because I feel the tingle in my fingertips, I feel the need to pour my thoughts (silly as they might be) out on this digital piece of paper.

My father tells me I should try to write a book, my mother makes me see people who will tell me what I should do with my life, me, I'm just trying to survive it all. And despite of everything; I miss your smell most of all.

Friday 5 October 2007

The Devil Never Sleeps

Hand on your heart

One Two Three Four
Tell me that you love me more
Sleepless, long nights
That was what my youth was for

OLD teenage hopes are ALIVE at your door
Left you with nothing
But they want some more

Oh, oh, oh
You're changing your heart
Oh, oh, oh
You know who you are

Sweetheart, bitter heart
Now I can't tell you apart
Cozy and cold
Put the horse before the cart

Those teenage hopes
Who have tears in their eyes
Too scared to own up
To one little lie

Oh, oh, oh
You're changing your heart
Oh, oh, oh
You know who you are

One, two, three, four, five, six, nine, and ten
Money can't buy you back the love that you had then
One, two, three, four, five, six, nine, and ten
Money can't buy you back the love that you had then

Oh, oh, oh
You're changing your heart
Oh, oh, oh
You know who you are
Oh, oh, oh
You're changing your heart
Oh, oh, oh
You know who you are

Wednesday 3 October 2007

Om Du Lämnade Mig Nu

I haven't listened to music in more than a week

That's how terrible I'm feeling.

But I'll try to be better.

I promise.