Friday, 27 July 2007

How we operate

You know I'm no good

I try not to be pretentious, because if there is anything I detest it is pretentious people; but as always you become what you loathe. Just like applying to a bachelor in journalism, even though I hate journalists, (but luckily not sending in my papers - thus not getting accepted) I now realize this whole journal thing is a load of crap. I didn't want this thing to become a bunch of random words put together, I wanted to get to the bottom of it, to be able to just write, express my self freely. I realize now that I cannot, and probably will not ever be able to do this. So, all cards on the table; this is bullshit. Page fillings, a big load of crap.

Phew. Good thing that we got that sortet out.

LOVE! LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE! What the hell is it? I think it's just one emotion, one kind of attachment, but that when combined with other things (care, attraction, sentimental bonds, family ties and so on) we get all sorts of it. But they're not really different, they are just attachments we form in our brains. So don't be surprised if love changes into something better, worse or something completely different.

What the hell was that?

I'm not sure, maybe after realizing all that comes out of this silly activity that is typing on a keyboard I actually expressed something? Not that I'm sure of anything; I rarely ever am; and this was merely a thought that came to me while I stood in the shower yesterday, water pouring down on me. I also decided something, well, maybe, maybe I decided, maybe I didn't. Point is that I have actually made progress; to hell with standing still, to hell with being scared. All you can do is try, and maybe you'll fail, maybe you'll fail and everything will go to hell, but at least; at least you'll be able to say you tried.

AND YES! I RESERVE THIS POST FOR SOME REALLY BAD PHOTOSHOPPING. Maybe tomorrow I will make something worthwhile - that is, if I have the time.

1 comment:

Kat said...

I know the feeling of the inevitable failure, and you're right. I'd rather try to do something and fail then never try at all. How else are we going to come across new experiences and things? We won't. The most interesting people I've met in my life have been those who have never been afraid to try...and I try to live the same.